Neuroscience shows us that belonging is a fundamental human need that we all experience and recognize deeply. When we feel excluded, our experience registers in the same part of our brain as physical pain. In the workplace, research shows that employees who feel they belong are six times more engaged than those who don’t.
A sense of belonging is crucial for your employees’ individual well-being and for the effectiveness of your teams and organizations. Here are three compassionate leadership methods we recommend to build a stronger sense of belonging among your entire team.
Create culture through addition, not subtraction.
When a new person joins your team, they bring new traits and characteristics that may not have been present before. There are two different ways that you can bring them “into the fold”: through valuing difference or valuing sameness. When you value the uniqueness of each individual, you value them exactly for who they are, and find a place for them to fit in the organization. By recognizing the new member’s differences as positive attributes, you have the opportunity to expand the skill sets and perspective available to your team, deepen creativity, and solve a wider range of problems. The path that leads to growth and expansion is the path of addition.
The alternative path is the path of homogeneity. On this path, the existing cultural norms, also known as “the way we’ve always done it,” are extremely important, and are often threatened by something new and different. Change and uncertainty ARE threatening. Our immediate human response to threat is to fall into fight, flight, or freeze mode. Don’t allow the uncertainty of change to freeze you like a deer in headlights. Organizational inflexibility can be devastating in our world of accelerated change.
Practice humility yourself.
Accomplishing an organization’s mission requires differentiating the roles and responsibilities of different team members. Leadership comes with many important responsibilities and privileges. Associating those privileges and responsibilities with a sense of superiority is a sure-fire way to lose your followers. Dr. Dacher Keltner, in his book The Power Paradox, shows how the emotional intelligence skills that cause leaders to rise often atrophy once they get into power. Don’t let that happen to you.
One everyday practice you can engage in is based on American soccer star Abby Wambach’s “rush and point” rule: When your teammate scores a goal, rush towards them to celebrate their success, and when you score, point to everyone who contributed to the goal. You can do the same. When your team members succeed at a given task or achievement, celebrate them enthusiastically. When you succeed, celebrate your team with gratitude, acknowledgement, and a generous sharing of the glory.
Listen
Deep listening is a powerful means to express to the speaker that their voice matters and therefore, they belong. In doing so, you will send the clearest message that your team member belongs. Research has established that listening improves team performance. In research on the communication styles of effective teams, the most successful teams are those who inquire the most. Asking questions and listening to the answers not only sends a powerful message of belonging, it strengthens your team’s connection and performance.
Remember to listen in ways that go beyond the words. Find the resonance between you and another person when they are speaking. Essentially, see if you can hop on their wavelength, so they can sense that you are present to their communication. Research shows that our bodies pick up on subtle energetic information before our brain can process words. This felt sense can be much more impactful than the words themselves.
As leaders, we have the influence to initiate a shift to a culture of belonging. Just as with other foundational principles to build a wider culture of compassionate leadership, we need to embrace, practice, and embody the values of common humanity and that everyone belongs. Take time to make both you and your team champions of belonging to the benefit of all.
This is one post in a series of posts about creating a culture of compassion. The other posts in this series are:
Transform and Thrive Through Compassionate Leadership
Compassionate Leaders Create Psychological Safety
Creating Environments of Connection