While 2020 will undoubtedly live in history as a year that people will want to put behind them, these five books each wisdom that we will want to keep with us and take forward into 2021. Give yourself the opportunity to enjoy these books and deepen your appreciation for, and practices around, compassionate leadership.
Real Change: Mindfulness to Heal Ourselves and the World
by Sharon Salzberg
“Compassion doesn’t mean we don’t fight. It means we don’t hate.” This quote is but one tiny part of the deep wisdom throughout Sharon Salzberg’s new book, Real Change: Mindfulness to Heal Ourselves and the World. The wisdom and balance this book offers are precisely what is needed in our highly fractured, conflicted time, guiding us to use our mindfulness to lead our activism.
Salzberg is one of the great Western wisdom teachers of today, best known for sharing the practices of insight meditation and lovingkindness. She is at her best in showing us the middle path from either/or to both/and. In the final chapter of the book, “Exquisite Balance,” she shares the full power of true equanimity, which comes from her interpretation of the word as “balance born of wisdom.” It is through the cultivation of this equanimity that we can see the world as it is and not feel compelled to second guess it.
Equanimity, however, is not limited to the final chapter. It is key to much of what she writes of in Real Change, and can be seen clearly in the chapter “Grief to Resilience” as it deals with the critical challenge of holding suffering while still maintaining the energy to serve. The entire book, and this chapter especially, will be of particular value to caregivers overwhelmed by the COVID-19 pandemic.
Salzberg draws from her deep, deep well of understanding that comes from a life devoted to mindful practice. This book makes explicit what she has expressed elsewhere: We don’t sit on the mat to meditate, we sit on the mat to live in the world. Real Change shows how our mindfulness can lead to living more wholly in the world.
Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization
by Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD
What do you say to a writer who suggests that they want to update one of psychology’s best known and most widely-used theories, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? If the writer is Scott Barry Kaufman, and the updated hierarchy is what is offered within Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization, you say, “very well done!”
It has been over seventy-five years since Abraham Maslow wrote his groundbreaking article, “A Theory of Human Motivation,” and set the foundation for what would become humanistic psychology and later, positive psychology. The widespread use of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs since then suggest that this was not a theory in need of a fix.
Yet, Kaufman offers two significant contributions to bring the theory forward to 2020. First, he takes Maslow’s hierarchical pyramid, something too easily perceived as something to be conquered, and reframes the metaphor as a sailboat, something to take you on a journey. Second, he offers the seven decades of scientific research that have proven the precision of Maslow’s observations and intuition, tightening up Maslow’s brilliant conclusions further.
For compassionate leaders, this book provides a depth of knowledge of nearly every important practice of compassionate leadership. Whether it is self-compassion, psychological safety, growth-mindedness, inclusion, or compassionate communication, readers will discover the knowledge of what motivates their own behaviors and the behaviors of those they lead. This is not a “how-to” book. It is for individuals who want to deepen their understanding of human behavior in order to improve their own actions.
Compassionate Conversations: How to Speak and Listen from the Heart
by Diane Musho Hamilton, Gabriel Menegale Wilson, and Kimberly Myosai Loh
Are we losing our ability to communicate respectfully with each other? As communication has moved from the public square to online forums inhabited by dehumanizing trolls and a “cancel culture” that leaps to judgment with no engagement or due process, can we find a better way?
In Compassionate Conversations, the authors dig into topics as varied as power, privilege, political correctness, and bias to show us that no matter the hurdles, compassionate, productive conversations are possible for those willing to proceed with kindness and a caring recognition for the other.
While there are other books focused on compassionate communications, particularly Marshall Rosenberg’s work with non-violent communications, Compassionate Conversations’ greatest offering is the application of the principles in the book to the specific communications challenges the world faces right now. Anyone interested in communicating more compassionately can benefit richly from this book.
Radical Compassion
by Tara Brach
In Radical Compassion, Tara Brach, PhD, takes us on a gentle, yet skillfully guided path to embrace our self-compassion, compassion for others, and for all beings. Brach, founder of the Insight Meditation Center in Washington, DC, host of a popular weekly podcast, and author of best-sellers Radical Acceptance and True Refuge, brings her relatable presence and experiences into her latest release.
Brach helps us awaken our compassion in everyday situations when we get stuck with difficult emotions and our own suffering. She writes “I have to love myself into healing. The only path that can carry me home is the path of self-compassion. “Through stories, practices, and reflections, Brach encourages us to find our own path home. Using the RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) process she has popularized and updated, we are offered the simple and powerful tools to open up to our basic goodness with kindness and love.
Good Morning, I Love You: Mindfulness + Self-Compassion Practices to Rewire Your Brain for Calm, Clarity + Joy
by Shauna Shapiro, PhD
There is an old joke that asks, “Do you know how to get to Carnegie Hall?” with the answer being, “Practice, practice, practice.” It sounds so simple, and on one level it is. On a deeper level, however, getting to Carnegie Hall can be very arduous.
And so it is with our own happiness. We all seek the “Calm, Clarity + Joy” of Good Morning, I Love You’s subtitle. Finding it, however, can be very challenging. Shauna Shapiro smooths our way with an achievable path to greater inner peace. Shapiro is a professor and clinical psychologist, and she explores and explains the neurological reasons for why we do what we do. Then she shows us how we can make choices, one moment at a time, that will lead us to a more purposeful life.
The book has over twenty practices targeting intentionality in mindfulness, self-compassion, compassion for others, and for the entire, interconnected web of life. The science, examples, and exploration found in the book’s chapters point us in the direction of greater purpose. It is through the practices that we find our way to walking the path of compassionate leadership.