Ladders. Jungle Gyms. Plateaus. Mountain tops. All of these nouns are used to describe the things we can climb in our professional and personal journeys. The dots from here to there connect our choices and create our stories, both for ourselves and the organizations we steward. Like small children on a playground, we find ourselves wondering where, when, and what to climb. We’re told from a young age that we’re supposed to get to the top.
Many cultures celebrate upward movement with increasing levels of responsibility, corresponding titles, and the ability to consume more. We are taught to follow a certain path, moving up, up and up. If we work hard, keeping our minds focused on what lies ahead, we’ll surely succeed. However, that ladder metaphor holds false promises.
Evidence shows that leaders who reach the top tiers of organizations, not only stop growing, but can find that some important leadership skills begin to atrophy. In his book, The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence, Dacher Keltner describes how access to power can lead to empathy deficits, self-serving impulsivity, incivility and disrespect.
We can all access examples of this notion of power gone wrong. Lord Acton was right, “Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Once one is in power, unless intentional effort is directed towards maintaining empathy, giving, gratitude, and unity, power will undermine those positive characteristics, which likely led to the acquisition of power in the first place. It is certainly not wrong to climb to the top of a leadership peak or to achieve your goals – in fact, there is great possibility for those who are self-aware and willing to engage in the tough work of leading others for positive impact.
Goals and outcomes are, of course, critically important. They give us direction in how to move forward on the next step on our journey. Yet, few strategic plans include enough contingencies for the world’s constant change of pace. After taking a few steps, we will find ourselves in not only a different place, but in a changed world.
In this space is also the opportunity for a new level of acceptance. If you can be open to the world as it presents itself, and not as we wish it were, the task is made much easier. Resisting the way things are is futile. Resistance creates more obstacles and stress, taking precious energy and resources. Instead, accepting what is makes the following action steps easier, as they are responsive to reality, not to something wished for.
Life has a way of requiring us to change course, regardless of how tightly we’ve held to our plans. The climbing down, sideways, over and underneath on our paths holds invitations for curiosity and inquiry. The rate of change asks us to be present to different, quickly changing realities all of the time. If you think you have reached the destination, you’re likely to quit growing. What if we could write a different story?
By focusing on the journey and not just outcomes, we can respond to the fluidity of the world and open ourselves to the way that the world is presenting itself at any given moment. If, on the other hand, we stay attached to a specific outcome, we have a stronger tendency to see the world the way we want it to be. Compassionate leadership is a practice, not an outcome.
Compassionate leadership practice means that we are intentionally focused on discovery and growth. This is how you explore new possibilities that move you and the teams you lead into a more fertile place for growth. With repetition and practice, the journey then goes into deeper and deeper understanding. As you reflect, here are a few questions to help you move deeper:
What has changed since I last considered my course of action?
Is the information that is coming in consistent with the assumptions built into the original plan?
Does my team know that it is just as important to bring contrary news as it is to bring confirming news?
How much am I operating out of a place of wanting to be right?
When the path itself becomes the destination, we find ourselves learning to live into the presence of each moment. Unexpected turns in the path become something to embrace rather than to fear. This presence then offers us a lesson in the form of paradox. As we answer each question, a new one comes up. The answers matter. But they aren’t the end.
This approach is just as valuable for organizations as it is for individuals. Learning organizations and those who lead them and work in them need to be constantly changing and adapting to the circumstances of each moment. If you’re on a team, and are wanting to change the questions you ask, and the answers you find along the way, how is this resonating with you? Share your thoughts in the comment section below. When you’re ready to climb down off the ladder, and instead return to the winding path, we’d love to hear the answers you are finding on your way.