Wow. That was fast. Just two months ago, while participating alongside fellow panelists from the World Health Organization at a symposium on “The Epidemiology of Compassion and Love,” the WHO confirmed the discovery of a new coronavirus causing a cluster of pneumonia cases in Wuhan, China.
Today we find ourselves in a radically changed world due to this virus. Schools, offices, restaurants, and bars are closed in many places around the globe. Store shelves are empty. Financial markets are in a state of extreme volatility. Small and large organizations are bracing for the worst. What can compassionate leaders do in this moment of unprecedented chaos? How do you instill confidence, trust, transparency, open communications, and encourage the team to stay positive? How do you embody compassionate leadership?
Start with yourself. Put the proverbial oxygen mask on first! Move swiftly to get grounded and centered. With a firm anchor, clarity, and courage, we can avoid the two extremes of reaction – panic and denial – which each lead to poor decisions. Panic narrows our field of vision to a very limited set of potential responses, which restricts longer term thinking. And while the reality of the situation may indeed be frightening, denying or resisting reality only causes more suffering and fear, and shuts off the possibility of leading from a grounded center.
To stay centered requires our body and brain to respond calmly, not react mindlessly. We need to engage the parasympathetic nervous system and let the executive function in our prefrontal cortex be in charge of decision-making. Let your whole centered being become a place of embodied leadership presence where your wisdom, courage and vulnerability reside.
A quick, simple way to calm the nervous system, and give yourself a pause, is to breathe deeply and slowly, and extend the exhalation. Notice if your breath is caught in the upper chest region, and if so, try to lower it down towards your belly as you inhale. Evidence shows that even one full deep breath can shift your physiology, psychology, and sense of well-being. Allow yourself a few minutes of quiet breathing if you can.
When we fall into fear-based thinking or a mentality of lack, we sink into the lower parts of our brain which are wired for survival, which puts us into fight, flight, or freeze modes. As this happens, you may find yourself short-tempered with colleagues, frustrated with working from home, or procrastinating more than your norm.
Operating from fear also makes it easy to put the emphasis on our individual situation, and lose sight of our connection to others and our shared common humanity. Any time we begin to judge someone else, or feel better than, entitled, or separate, it always helps to return to the “Just Like Me” practice.
In today’s chaotic environment, it may help to change some of the phrases to include:
This person is worried about what is happening, just like me.
This person doesn’t know what will unfold next, just like me.
This person doesn’t know how long this will last, just like me.
This person wants to remain safe and healthy, just like me.
Understanding the roots of someone else’s negative behaviors doesn’t make those behaviors okay, but it can help us to understand that we are all human and share many basic fears and desires.
At times like this, Stacey Finkelstein, PhD, of Stony Brook University’s School of Business puts it simply, “When we are going through a stressful, emotional period of our lives, we may feel like we’re out of control, and we try to exert control in a number of ways, like stocking up on hand sanitizer and, I guess, toilet paper." We try to create an appearance for ourselves of being in control. But it is just that – an appearance.
Perhaps the healthier path, both for ourselves and for all our fellow humans, is to recognize how much we truly do not control. Michael Singer, in his wonderful book, The Surrender Experiment, offers a very simple practice to help us let go of trying to control that which we cannot. How about every single day instead of categorizing the weather as good, bad, weird, or otherwise, consider with awe all that is required to make the weather. Recognize that today’s weather is completely unique, never to be duplicated. Finally, approach each day by saying “Look how beautiful today’s weather is.” This practice is not easy for anyone, especially for those of us who are used to believing that they are in control. But with repetition of this or any other practice, we rewire our old patterns and grow more resilient.
Accepting what is, and showing up as our authentic self, flaws and fears included, makes us more vulnerable. Your vulnerability leads to more effective leadership. Emma Seppala’s Harvard Business Review article presents a compelling case for how vulnerability builds trust, respect, belonging, and connection. The courage to bring your whole self, and lead from this place of compassion and vulnerability will see you and your team through these uncertain times.
The coronavirus points out for us in stark terms the importance of living compassionately and cooperatively. Will we learn this lesson as a species? The time to recognize our shared humanity and lead with compassion is now.
Image Credit: CDC.gov.