We all recognize that compassion requires kindness. The research shows that compassion comes more easily to those with more highly developed nurturing instincts. But if we stop there in our consideration of compassion, we miss out on some of the most important and powerful parts of compassion – those parts that exhibit courage and strength, especially in the face of injustice. In organizations in particular, for compassion to be effective, it needs to display itself with courage.
Compassion is more than relieving suffering
The most common definition of compassion is concern for the suffering of another combined with a desire to ease that suffering. What goes unsaid and is often overlooked in this definition is that easing suffering often requires addressing both the suffering that arises in a given moment as well as the root cause of the suffering.
If you give a painkiller to someone with low back pain, you may ease their pain for a brief time. But the pain will return. The painkiller can address the suffering arising in the moment, but true relief requires a deeper intervention.
The compassion we think of first – nurturing compassion – is particularly effective at relieving the suffering in the moment. Addressing the root cause to ensure that the suffering doesn’t return, on the other hand, demands courageous compassion.
It takes courage to change systems
There are so many forms of suffering that arise from systemic dysfunction: racism, disparate health quality and health outcomes, gender bias, and wage differentials in organizations. As an example, if a member of your team receives a smaller-than-deserved pay increase or bonus, you probably have a good idea of how to remedy the specific case. Perhaps it involves working with those responsible for determining compensation and making a rational case for the specific individual.
When the pay inequity arises from systemic organizational biases not related to job performance, simply remedying your team member’s case will only have a benefit that is limited to the one case. The same unfair compensation system will certainly continue to harm others. A more effective and less limited compassion in this case requires addressing the root of suffering – the inequitable compensation system itself. That requires more than kindness and nurturing.
Helping one person navigate through an inequitable system is a valuable compassionate leadership act for that person. Helping reform an inequitable system is a courageous compassionate leadership act for everyone.
Courageous compassion is both wise and kind
It is only natural to become frustrated and angry at the growing inequities in the world at the root of our suffering. Channeling that ferocity productively is an important factor in bringing about compassionate change. Simply venting your anger at “the system” and those in charge can backfire and cause colleagues to dig in and resist change even more forcefully. Instead, use your energy to focus your intention and prepare you for action. This level of clarity and determination is necessary for compassionate leaders to move through challenging environments with wise action.
It is as true in systems work as it is in individual work: shame and blame don’t work. Courageous compassion needs equanimity in its awareness of the harm being caused by broken systems. Approaching unjust systems with a calm composure can create a clear understanding of what needs to be changed and what will be effective in bringing about the change.
Systems change is hard, and attempts to bring it about will frequently fail or face daunting obstacles along the way. Being overly connected to a specific outcome substantially increases the potential for burnout. The same equanimity that keeps us focused on what will be effective also allows us to advocate for change without taking it personally and burning out.
In closing…
Compassionate leaders are resilient, patient, and wise. Keep at it. Every compassionate intention and act is contributing to the larger stream of movement in the right direction. Garner support and enlist allies – we cannot do it alone and we are always stronger together. Lastly, stay aware of how to utilize self-compassion skills to take care of yourself as you take care of others.