Are your personal values and beliefs consistent with the core values of the organization that you work for or lead? Do you keep your weekend life tucked away out of sight when you are at work? Are you worried about what would happen if you shared more of yourself at work? Instead of just focusing on what might go wrong if you opened up about your life, consider all that could go right.
1. You may learn that there is only one you.
Compartmentalizing your life creates overwhelm. As leading neurobiologist Dan Siegel describes, a lack of integration in one’s life leads to chaos or rigidity, or even to dis-ease. There isn’t a work you and an off-work you. They are simply pieces of the greater whole that is you. And what is most amazing of all about that greater whole that is you is that there is none other like you.
2. Bringing your individual parts together will make the whole greater than the sum of the parts.
The values and skills you cultivate in your personal life may very well have positive impact at work. What you learn about problem solving, creativity, resilience, focus, or kindness while engaged in non-work activities can deeply enrich your work relationships and performance. It doesn’t matter whether you are an active outdoors person, a fantasy roleplaying gamer, or a binge watcher of true crime shows. Your brain is already creating new neural pathways, connecting the dots of various experiences even if you think they belong in different life buckets. New growth, perspective, and wisdom will emerge. Granting yourself permission to cultivate and honor this amazing web of internal and external connections can bring a deeper sense of purpose and meaning to all of life.
Another way to think of this is to suggest you bring “diversity, inclusion, and belonging to your inner self.” In work teams where all perspectives are valued, diverse work teams produce more creative and superior team output.
3. Opening up more will feel vulnerable, but that is a good thing.
One of the strongest reasons we want to keep our personal life walled off is the fear we have of being shamed or disrespected. The evidence, though, shows the opposite. When you show up and allow yourself to be seen just as you are, others are more likely to connect with you, and view you in a positive light. What you feel as naked vulnerability, others view as courage.
A safe environment without hostile work conditions is required to realize the benefits of vulnerability. If you find yourself in any kind of hostile organization or team, remember your safety is paramount.
4. Recognizing the beauty of your own rich complexity may open you up to appreciating the humanity in others.
It is surprising sometime how very thin the line is between annoying habit and cute quirk. Have you ever noticed how the same behavior in one person (a unique laugh, a repeated phrase, etc.) can sometimes bring forth delight and dismay at other times? The difference is usually a result of our own mindset in that moment. Reset your mindset around celebrating your uniqueness and differences, and you may find yourself appreciating everyone else more.
We have all heard the phrase attributed to Aristotle, “The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.” While we often ponder this for organizations, systems, and teams, the same is true for us as individuals. Bring all your parts together into an integrated whole, and you will likely feel more content, complete, and true to your heart.