Yes, as leaders and citizens of the world we want to be more compassionate. So, what gets in our way of implementing compassionate leadership? Are the obstacles internal or external? Over the past few years, we’ve surveyed hundreds of leaders in our training programs and retreats about the most challenging barriers they face to leading more compassionately.
In the weeks ahead, we will explore the barriers to compassionate leadership and ways that these challenges may be overcome. In some cases, the remedies are fairly straightforward and to be expected, while in other cases they may seem a little counterintuitive. Whatever the case, let’s start by naming and acknowledging these challenges as initial steps to overcoming them. Which barriers show up in your leadership?
Excess Demands on Time
The most frequently named barrier to leading compassionately is an excessive demand on our time. Survey participants have expressed this barrier arising as an external cause with, for example, organizational and societal expectations being excessive. They have also named it as a personally created barrier, in part arising from choices that lead to overcommitment.
The key to overcoming the excessive demands on our time revolves around recognizing that the amount of time is fixed – twenty-four hours a day. That’s all the time there is. We must define our expectations with that in mind, and be courageous in setting boundaries, both for ourselves as well as for our colleagues at work.
Perfectionism, Lack of Boundaries, and Lack of Self-Compassion
These three challenges are consistently listed in response to the question, “What internal/personal challenges to compassion do you face?” The path from these challenges to putting excess time demands on ourselves is a direct one, and individuals need to address these three in order to make progress with their relationship with time demands.
The irony in these holding people back from leading compassionately is that they come from a place of wanting to be helpful and do the right thing. Perfectionism (which can lead us to have a hard time creating boundaries) is, by definition, wanting to achieve at the absolute highest level. The problem arises when our perfectionism leads to secondary impacts such as exhaustion and burnout. Whether it is Voltaire’s “The best is the enemy of the good,” or Shakespeare’s “Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well,” the costs of our perfectionism have been well-known for ages.
The solution to this trio of barriers is to work with the linkages: start with self-compassion in order to overcome the perceived need for perfection, and then create healthy boundaries.
Lack of Knowledge
A frequently named barrier to leading compassionately that we will explore in this series is the “lack of knowledge” about how to do so. Our survey participants are not the only ones who have expressed this concern. For example, in research by Rasmus Hougaard, Jacqueline Carter, and Louise Chester, 80% of leaders surveyed said that they would like to strengthen their compassion skills but lack the knowledge as to how to do it.
The encouraging news is that research is also clear that we all have the innate capacity for compassion, and that it can be developed with practice. Growing one’s ability to lead compassionately is about locating and awakening a capacity that already exists within us. It doesn’t have to be hard, and can be accomplished through the intentional way we focus our awareness in everyday life. The beauty of this is that you can develop greater compassionate leadership skills without having to commit significant amounts of time to new activities.
Organizational and External Barriers to Leading Compassionately
In our surveys, we ask participants about individual barriers to leading compassionately and external or organizational barriers. While the internal barriers cluster around the three issues mentioned above, the external barriers vary significantly from organization to organization. The survey results are reminiscent of the opening line of Anna Karenina, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” There are a wide range of issues that our survey participants have cited.
In our upcoming post about these external barriers, we will discuss systemic racism, the legacy of colonialism, strong in-groups and out-groups, extremely competitive culture, fear-based culture, lack of resources, and a lack of emotional support. We believe there is a powerful set of leadership development and organizational culture principles that address these external barriers. These are areas where compassionate leaders change cultures and make the greatest difference.
Let’s go deeper
This ongoing series of articles will explore each of these obstacles and solutions in more depth. While many obstacles reside beyond our control, many lie within our sphere of influence or within ourselves where we can create new solutions.
Remember to take it one small step at a time. With our passion and desire to positively change the world, we can often take on too much at once. And the actual pace of change vs. our intention can call forth every ounce of our patience. This is the journey. We – this community of compassionate leaders – are your allies. Together we can see this through.
This is the first post in our series about Overcoming Obstacles. For the next post in this series, click here.