We are already seeing the backlash to the backlash to “return to the office.” As organizations began mandating rules around returning to physical presence in the office, workers pushed back. While the preference for flexibility is certainly as clear as ever, a new concern is being voiced more frequently, and that is the absence of spontaneous and casual interactions facilitated by shared physical office space.
We are a relational species, and we all desire to one degree or another a certain connection to others. No matter your office/hybrid/remote working arrangements today, these times demand that we create more intention around nurturing relationships and interactions. See if these 3 steps help you deepen your connections to your colleagues and strengthen your teams.
1. Practice awe.
To lead compassionately, we have to move outside of ourselves. We have to move beyond our own emotions to recognize and understand the thoughts and feelings of another. Most of our emotions focus our attention inward. Awe, however, is different. Awe is one of the few emotions that focus our attention outward. As we turn outward, our place in a structure much larger than ourselves helps create perspective. We can’t do anything without others, and practicing awe helps us understand this more deeply. This alone can help us set the stage for connecting to others.
Albert Einstein said, “One cannot help but be in awe when contemplating the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day.” Take a moment to pause and consider the amazing, mysterious universe that we inhabit.
2. Go first.
These last two and a half years have taken their toll on our collective physical and mental health in substantial ways. The life expectancy in the US has declined by over two years during this period. The incidence of anxiety, loneliness, and depression has risen significantly. Wherever you are, you are in a community that is having a harder time than ever. So, why not be the one to reach out and ask, “How are you doing?” in a deeply sincere way? Check in with those around you to see what they need.
The paradoxical impact of this is that by serving the needs of others, you will be uplifted as well. When we seek to do good for others, with no motive other than to serve, the benefits accrue just as much to the server as the served. This phenomenon was covered extremely well by Stephen Trzeciak and Anthony Mazzarelli in their recent book, Wonder Drug. And, in fact, even bystanders who simply witness someone helping another experience uplift through the emotion that Thomas Jefferson called elevation.
3. Measure for collaboration first, then individual performance.
We can certainly practice awe during our workday and go first at doing good in our organizations. We can also help such behaviors become the cultural norm by rewarding collaborative behaviors in our organizations.
There is an ever-present question that arises in leadership, and it goes something like this: “I have a member of my team who performs very highly on some important business measure such as sales. They are, however, something of a jerk and not at all popular with the rest of my team. I don’t know what to do.” In almost every anecdote like this that we have heard, the “keep the high-performing jerk” does not work out. Sometimes their behavioral lapses step completely over the line and there is no choice but to let them go. Other times, they move on quickly chasing the next sign-on incentive.
It is easy to measure a single dimension of performance such as sales, but much harder to measure the systemic impact of the non-team player’s negative behavior. Letting the high producer go can be very challenging because you immediately see their sales walk out the door. What you will also experience, but won’t see as obviously, is the positive impact on everyone else. Teams pulling together create more than the sum of the parts of each individual acting alone. By setting collaborative performance as the overriding value, you optimize the performance of an entire team, not just one individual.
In closing…
Our modern emphasis on the separate self has shifted us away from our natural state of interconnectedness. By remembering that our wellbeing thrives in relationship, we can orient our leadership style to a more collaborative and connectional approach. This orientation has become ever more important in our rapidly evolving work environment.