We choose our work based on its alignment with our own values and needs. This wise perspective means we naturally identify with work in valuable and healthy ways. If, however, we take this identification too far, it can become harmful. Overidentification arises when our self-identity becomes so strongly associated with work that our work needs push out our independent individual needs. This overidentification can have harmful impacts on both our personal and our professional lives. Foundational practices of inner compassion – awareness and self-compassion – can support compassionate leaders in avoiding the pitfalls of overidentifying with work.
Risks of overidentifying with work
The clearest danger of overidentification is that we will neglect elements of our life outside of work. We become so focused on the demands of work that we fail to meet our own needs. These can include our relationships with friends and family, attention to our health, and activities that bring us joy and fulfillment. The result of ignoring our personal needs can be exhaustion, isolation and loneliness, and eventually burnout.
Overidentification can have deeply disruptive impacts if we are called upon at work to take actions that conflict with our core values. You could be asked to shade the truth in what you tell a client, or to allocate limited supplies to an in-group member instead of to the client who needs it most. Overidentification makes it hard to speak up and resist actions you view as unethical. Taking action that conflicts with our individual values creates a dissonance with an enormous toll on our minds and bodies. Additionally, we may find ourselves in a system whose values conflict with our own. All of this puts us on the path to burnout.
If we think we are our work, the risk of losing our position becomes a form of an existential threat. Everything is viewed through the lens of protecting your position, destroying any sense of psychological safety at work. Acknowledging error becomes scary, which in turns limits our ability to learn and grow. Change itself becomes dangerous because we move from the comfort and certainty of the present into the uncertainty of the future. With overidentification, change becomes a move from knowing who we are to not knowing. Collaboration and cooperation become harder because our overidentified self has a pronounced need for success.
Countering overidentification
What can we do to avoid this overidentification? Start with the practice of self-compassion. This practice allows us to recognize our imperfect humanity and facilitates acceptance and celebration of both skills and shortcomings. Self-compassion reduces our tendency to perfectionism, which frees us up to live a more balanced life. It supports us in valuing our unique individual needs that are met outside of work.
From this place of self-compassion, we can focus on the generative purpose that has brought us to our work. Return again and again to the reason you are doing the work you do. By focusing on what we can bring to work, instead of what work will bring to us, we become builders working in a creative flow. And in a beautiful process, we end up being fulfilled in the creative work. We experience the alignment between our individual self and our work self in a balanced way, benefiting both our work product and our individual flourishing.
Stay present to right here, right now. Ask yourself, “What is mine to do today?” The needs of the world are so significant that it is easy to be overwhelmed. That overwhelm can undermine our belief in the value of our individual contribution. Recognize that your contribution is enough, for the simple reason that it is what you are able to offer. When we all focus on what is ours to do right now – whether it is large or small – the resulting impact will be powerful.
In closing…
If you are part of this community of compassionate leaders, you are likely committed to building a safer, connected, and just society where everyone belongs. Literally, we want to save the world! Our deep desire to contribute coupled with the depth of suffering in the world can hold us back from creating healthy boundaries. Learning to accept our finite capacity and imperfections actually makes us stronger. Only then can we direct our heart-based intentions in ways that contribute to our own thriving and all those we lead. We are enough.