This has been a banner year for the growth of compassionate leadership, with a bounty of valuable books on subjects important to compassionate leaders. Each of them stands completely on its own, but reading more than one of them is a potent multiplier. In Hope for Cynics, Jamil Zaki uses science to show us that our fellow humans are kinder than we think, which encourages us to act compassionately. In The Power of Bridging, john a. powell shows us both why and how we can direct our compassionate action to create a world where everyone belongs. Robin Wall Kimmerer, in The Serviceberry, gives us a vision of our human place in the world that recognizes the shared harm of othering instead of belonging. In Optimal, Daniel Goleman and Gary Cherniss demonstrate how we can bring emotional intelligence into our systems, which is what will be needed to create lasting compassionate change. And running through all of this is the fundamental choice we can each make in every moment, described in Choose Compassion by James Kirby.
In whole, these books amplify the urgent call to deepen our understanding of how we act as humans in a global community, how we act with compassion to connect us, and how we can cooperatively face today’s deep existential challenges. And for those looking for a prescription from these books, we offer these:
Honor the value of every single person.
Avoid zero-sum approaches to problems.
Interpret the actions of others generously.
Take small steps.
Start with yourself, and recognize that you are but one part of a much larger, interconnected system.
The gifts that emerge from each of these books can greatly enrich you, and we hope that you will find something that captures the attention of your mind and the intention of your heart.
Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness
by Jamil Zaki
To lead with and for compassion, leaders must be able to interpret the challenges of their team generously. Cynicism – defined as the belief that people are selfish, greedy, and dishonest – makes generous interpretation next to impossible. In Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness, Jamil Zaki brings a book for all compassionate leaders that supports their own compassionate journeys and strengthens their abilities to advocate for the value of leading compassionately.
In The Power of Bridging (reviewed below), john a. powell writes, “How we see the world is greatly impacted by what we expect to see.” What do we expect to see? Are people selfish and greedy and out to take advantage of us or are they looking for a shelter in what feels like a stormy world?
When we ask members of our training cohorts for their curiosities about compassionate leadership, we regularly receive the question, “If I am compassionate will my colleagues take advantage of me?” In Hope for Cynics, Stanford psychologist and neuroscience researcher Zaki helps us see that the world is a much kinder place than we believe, and that we, as humans, significantly overestimate the risks of being kind.
This book magnifies the science-backed case for compassionate leadership. People are looking to be kind and want to be kind. Study after study reveal that the average person is more empathetic and interested in a healthy relationship with others than we believe them to be. We underestimate others’ hunger to connect, and in so doing put up walls that isolate them and ourselves.
The question isn’t whether someone else can be trusted – we don’t fall into two separate buckets of trustworthy or not. For compassionate leaders, the question is more about how we deepen our trust with each person. As Zaki writes, “People don’t just change; we change them through our expectations and actions.”
This isn’t a rose-colored glasses exercise, however. Zaki recommends hopeful skepticism – be real about our problems and limitations while also being affirming about the amazing powers that we humans possess to overcome our many challenges.
So, as you read Hope for Cynics, find the support to let go of your own vulnerability and reach out with kindness and compassion. The science says that those around you: your team, your friends, and your family are all wanting to receive your connection. As Hafiz writes, “why not become the one?”
The Power of Bridging: How to Build a World Where We All Belong
by john a. powell
Do we live in a world of dog-eat-dog, survival of the fittest, or are we humans wired for connection to each other? In The Power of Bridging: How to Build a World Where We All Belong, john a. powell believes that is the wrong question. He refuses to view the world in binary terms, and instead shows that if we will accept that we live with influences of both competition and collaboration, we can answer a different question: How can we bring forth our collaborative nature and expand our circle of belonging to include everyone?
The Power of Bridging is a culmination of john a. powell’s 30-plus years of research into individualism and community, and his time as head of the Othering & Belonging Institute at UC Berkeley. This is a book of restoration – restoring our human selves to a place of deep connection.
Powell expresses that our attachment to the principle that we are not connected, for example in the narrative of hyper self-reliance in the United States, leads to the conclusion that to “dominate and demean may even be seen as an appropriate role of the superior group.” We create ranking and categorization systems everywhere through our differentiation. “Once differences are made and given meaning, it will take real examination to change our stories about difference.” This is the work of compassionate leaders – to change our stories from ones about difference to stories about connection and belonging to each other.
So, how do compassionate leaders do that? By bridging. We reach out to connect to those where we may not yet feel connected. powell says very directly that the onus of bridging falls on the more powerful party. In The Power of Bridging, powell refuses to be prescriptive about how precisely to do this, but he does provide clear principles and guides of what building a world where we all belong looks like. Consistent takeaways include the importance of clear-eyed observation of reality, the value of taking small steps, and the application of principles of belonging to everyone. Yes, everyone. Even those who express a commitment to the rejection of the belonging of others. To apply these principles, powell offers questions after each chapter to support the reader within their specific context.
If humanity is to survive some of the significant threats on the horizon, recognition of our interconnectedness is our evolutionary mandate. powell responds to Martin Luther King, Jr.’s words that “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice” by reminding us that “We are the ones who bend the arc.”
The Serviceberry: Abundance and Reciprocity in the Natural World
by Robin Wall Kimmerer
If we are to build organizations and a world based on values other than power-over domination – a world where we can connect to each other and interpret actions generously and not cynically – then we need a different vision of society. The Serviceberry: Abundance and Reciprocity in the Natural World, by Robin Wall Kimmerer inspires us with such a vision. This vision is of a world based on what she calls a gift economy and is derived from the deep wisdom and traditions of her Potawatomi Nation heritage.
Our economic theories, Kimmerer writes, are based on principles of scarcity. This approach leads to hoarding and tension as our focus is defined by how we ration finite resources. The currency of a gift economy, on the other hand, is gratitude and reciprocity, which have the amazing property of growing with each exchange. When we share from our abundance, there are ample resources for everyone.
Kimmerer is also the author of the beautiful Braiding Sweetgrass and looks to the natural world for the patterns that support an interwoven world. While humans may sit atop the pyramid of earthly beings, we are but one part of a much greater ecosystem. Instead of attempting to impose our will on the natural order, we can turn to the wisdom of the natural order to inform our perspective.
The same is true for compassionate leaders. Those who believe they are above the system of their responsibility are missing out on the powerful wisdom that emerges from the entire community. Whether we call it a gift economy or a compassionate system, the same characteristic is clear: the sacred nature of everyone and everything is acknowledged for the benefit of all.
Kimmerer writes, “To name the world as gift, is to feel your membership in the web of reciprocity.” Everyone is part of the web of humanity and the job of compassionate leaders is to find ways to bring everyone, including the powerful defenders of the status quo, beyond the world of scarcity and into the web of reciprocity. john a. powell’s book reviewed above, The Power of Bridging, has much to say about this.
As in Braiding Sweetgrass, Kimmerer’s writing shimmers with a profound awareness of nature. It invites us as humans to recognize the simple gift that arises with each breath we take. We have been given an amazing gift to be on this earth. Let’s pass the gift along.
Optimal: How to Sustain Personal and Organizational Excellence Every Day
by Daniel Goleman and Cary Cherniss
Nearly thirty years ago, Daniel Goleman wrote Emotional Intelligence, redefining how we think about “what it means to be smart.” Optimal: How to Sustain Personal and Organizational Excellence Every Day, by Daniel Goleman and Cary Cherniss, builds on the extensive body of experience and research of emotional intelligence that has developed since that early book. Emotional intelligence is the awareness of the emotions of oneself and the emotions of others as well as the ability to manage our own emotions and respond constructively to the emotions of others. Optimal extends emotional intelligence into the understanding of the flow of emotions within groups. For leaders, Optimal charts a path to building on the ability to manage with emotional intelligence to managing for emotional intelligence.
The first half of Optimal takes a look at leading with emotional intelligence through the lens of organizations. This material is particularly valuable for its expression of EI in the language of leaders as opposed to academics. Goleman wrote for The New York Times for years, and his skills in sharing complex ideas using compelling narrative shine here. The material will be familiar for students of EI.
The second half of Optimal turns to leading for emotional intelligence. Being comprised of emotionally intelligent individuals is not a sufficient condition for creating effective teams. Goleman uses one of his own research collaboratives as an example of how individual skills don’t automatically translate into emotionally intelligent team skills. Recognizing how emotional intelligence works in groups allows organizations to effectively train in ways that lead to emotionally intelligent culture.
The final section of Optimal turns to the question of systems change. This brief section’s prescription will be affirming to compassionate leaders. The references to networks, culture, and roles will be clear to all who use a social architecture approach to building organizational compassion competence. Goleman’s prescription begins with organizational awareness, which extends the elements of emotional intelligence beyond awareness of the emotions of oneself and others to the awareness of how emotions play out in interactions of networks.
Just like compassion, emotional intelligence builds from the inside out. Optimal is a powerful guide for leaders interested in transforming themselves, their teams, their organizations, and thereby building a more connected, compassionate world.
Choose Compassion: Why it matters and how it works
by James Kirby
One of the two foundations of compassionate leadership is, obviously, compassion. Choose Compassion: Why it matters and how it works by James Kirby is a powerful compassion guide showing how we have agency over whether we respond compassionately or not and showing how to Choose Compassion.
We all have the capacity for compassion, but Kirby demonstrates how we don’t apply compassion universally. Expanding our circle of compassion to include everyone is supported by moving beyond an exclusively emotional engagement with suffering using our entire body, including our brain. As Kirby states it, we can also “think our way to compassion.” We do this through awareness of our emotions and recognizing the barriers that may limit us from acting compassionately.
The book includes a number of evidence-based practices that readers can utilize for their own growth. Choose Compassion also devotes a full chapter to self-compassion. We see time and time again that leaders often have the most challenging time establishing their own practice of self-compassion, and this chapter helps us appreciate why it is so difficult to prioritize and integrate.
Kirby is a brilliant academic with a deep appreciation for the Buddhist roots that illuminate human understanding of suffering and compassion. The book reflects this and the writing is supported by substantial scientific evidence.
In leadership and life, compassion is easiest to express within close knit communities and to those around us. Throughout the book, Kirby guides the reader to regularly expand that circle of compassion competence, and he closes the book with the call to action in this world where we are all part of one global community. The challenge is that as the scope of suffering expands, we humans are more likely to withdraw from rather than turn to the suffering. Kirby encourages us to choose compassion, focus on that which we can do, and trust that our action, when combined with others’ compassionate actions will make a difference. We couldn’t agree more.