This is the fourth and final post in our series about Overcoming Obstacles. Catch up to the three preceding posts here (Overview), here (Excess Time Demands ), and here (Perfectionism and Boundaries).
Lack of knowledge is named by our program participants as one of the most common barriers to leading compassionately. Our survey participants are not the only ones who have expressed this concern. For example, in research published in the Harvard Business Review, 80% of leaders surveyed said that they would like to strengthen their compassion skills but lack the knowledge as to how to do it.
Science shows that this is a capacity that we have always had. Recognizing that compassion and leadership are complementary can set us on the path of growing our compassionate leadership, and we can do that by letting go of trying to control all that is around us.
You already know how, and you have always known.
Compassion is a distinctly human skill that comes with being a member of the species. Children younger than two years old demonstrate compassion. They don’t need to “know” anything. Developing your compassion skills is more about awakening what has always been within you than it is about learning new skills. You probably already understand this on some level, so trust your intuition, and nurture the compassionate part of yourself.
One of the most beautiful aspects of acts of compassion and kindness is that they have a positive impact on everyone involved. When you offer compassion to another person, research shows that the person on the receiving end of the offering is supported, your own sense of well-being is elevated, and, in fact, anyone who even sees the act of compassion is lifted up. Understanding the value of compassion resonates within all of us. Allow this knowing to emerge from the deeper embodied part beyond your thinking mind.
The first thing you need to know is that compassionate and leadership are mutually supportive.
There are a number of misconceptions about compassionate leadership that we often encounter. Many of them boil down to the idea that compassion and leadership are in opposition to each other. Not only do they not conflict with each other, compassion and leadership reinforce each other.
A common myth is that the use of compassion in leadership will make the leader appear weak. Research evidence establishes that the opposite occurs. Those who lead with compassion and allow themselves to be vulnerable are viewed as stronger leaders. Rather than making one appear weak, compassionate leadership makes you appear human, which allows for deeper individual connections between leaders and their teams.
The practice is the journey. Within the questions are the answers.
Knowledge is typically defined as a set of facts that one can acquire and master. There is no final exam for compassionate leadership, which requires a different mindset than that in our goal-oriented organizational cultures. The regular practice of compassionate leadership is the journey. The goal is simply our next step, our next breath. A deeply sincere intention to live and lead compassionately is the primary ingredient for success in this practice.
Holding longer-term targets with a lighter grip allows for more creativity to emerge. This is richly empowering for compassionate leaders. Engage in a little bit of curiosity and excitement in your problem-solving efforts, and you might be amazed with what emerges. Within the questions are the answers.
But what does any of this Zen-sounding talk have to do with compassionate leadership? Everything. Letting go of control – control of the answers, control of the teams, control of the world – becomes liberating not just for your team, but for you as well. Recognizing the world exactly as it is is the best teaching to embody.
In closing…
Overcoming obstacles is what leaders know how to do! While the challenges are many, including perfectionism and time pressure as discussed in previous articles, we have the inner wisdom and capacity to bring more compassionate leadership forward. Beyond our individual efforts, the community is a boundless resource for support and solutions. Together, we can rise.