As September rolls in, there are many reminders of limited time before we turn over another calendar year. Just this week someone asked, ‘How many weeks are left in the year?’ Not very many! If you are looking at a very full plate of to-dos, is there a more compassionate series of thoughts and actions that will ease the path forward? How might you reorient your personal and organizational compass and recalibrate the long-term goals you set at the beginning of the year?
First let’s take a moment to reflect on all that we have accomplished and achieved. Our tendency is to skip over the important aspect of appreciation and highlight what has not worked so well and all that is left to do. So as you appreciate yourself, really receive that appreciation – let it sink in. Also remember to add in appreciation for all involved in your progress including teammates, colleagues, family, and community. Write it down. As you read over what’s on your list of accomplishments and all the names of those who participated, allow yourself to celebrate!
Next, let’s reframe what has not worked out as planned. Here our typical go-to response is to blame ourselves or others, to shame our way into doing better or more. While we assume that will get us moving in the right direction, research shows that negative self-talk and blaming others is not the most productive approach. Here are some reflections to help us reframe the situation:
Can we take a more compassionate view?
Can we be curious about what fell short, and why?
Can we investigate without judgment?
What can we learn that will help us right now as we rechart the course?
Not only is this more compassionate. It is more effective.
By acknowledging what has been working, and learning from what has not gone according to plan, we can update our expectation of what we might accomplish over the coming months. Maybe our goals stay the same. Maybe we reach for something more ambitious or scale back our objectives. Don’t, however, just stick with the same goals because that was the original plan. That will likely only dial up the stress.
We know that ‘just working harder’ and ‘more hustle’ may actually cause more pain and problems. A frenzied drive toward previously set goals may seem like the most effective way to get there, but it is a recipe for burnout. Instead, picture yourself in front of a trail map with an arrow that says, “You are here.” Then assess what paths are available for you to travel.
Not considering where you are situated right now can cause you to plow ahead over obstacles you hadn’t anticipated. What that means in practice is that we engage with others in ways that are not compassionate and are not productive. We run the risk of instrumentalizing our colleagues and fellow humans in the pursuit of “what we thought we wanted.”
Here are a few inquiries you can play with to redefine success as we head towards the end of the year. Ponder them yourself or even take this to your team to explore together:
What can I appreciate about the year so far?
What have we achieved at this point? What contributed to this success?
Where have you/your team adjusted successfully?
What hasn’t gone smoothly? What can we learn from those unexpected difficulties?
What has served me well?
What remains possible?
What do your answers reveal?
Be prepared to encounter new pressures and challenges at every turn. Such is the reality of organizational life today. Embrace each new wrinkle and use those as learning opportunities to continually refine your path, direction, and expectations.
Goals, values, and purpose provide a steady compass to point us in the right direction. Our day-to-day actions are how we move toward those goals. Skillful compassionate leaders integrate the big picture with wise choices to affect their next step in every moment. Each of us will come at this dance in different ways. Stay open and curious as to what arises as you move toward your goals, and don’t be afraid to refine and recalibrate your compass.
We leave you with two profound questions:
Between now and the end of the year, what is mine to do?
What needs to happen next?
When the going gets tough, and it will, add a large dose of patience and self-compassion. Small changes have great impact. Now you can embrace all the potential that is right in front of you.
In her book “Bird by Bird” Anne Lamott tells a relatable story about overwhelm when big projects and deadlines loom. She writes, “Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report written on birds that he'd had three months to write, which was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books about birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him put his arm around my brother's shoulder, and said, "Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.”
What bird do you need to create next?