Aiming for perfect is a noble goal. It’s deeply ingrained through conditioning in many of us. The trouble is that perfection is not really possible. In addition, we tend to ignore its downright harmful effects. When we don’t take into account the impact that falling short has on our well-being and our achievement, perfectionism becomes costly and counterproductive. It’s often a major culprit in the epidemic cycle of burnout and exhaustion we face today. Can we harness our perfectionist tendencies for positive benefit?
Tapping into our ambitions in a healthy way without going over the edge is possible, but it requires an understanding of perfectionism itself, a recognition of our connection to others, and a willingness to set boundaries and limits.
Two Types of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is complicated. Research defines two different types of perfectionism. These two different forms of perfectionism are highly correlated – if you use one of them, you probably use both – but they have opposite impacts on our performance and well-being.
Standards-based perfection involves setting and striving for high standards of performance for oneself. Evaluative perfection is associated with the concerns of falling short or making a mistake and being judged or evaluated negatively by others.
Perfectionism based on the pursuit of high standards is associated with positive work traits and individual well-being, while perfectionism driven by evaluation concerns can lead to procrastination, negative emotions, and burnout. By bringing awareness to the intention driving our perfectionism, we can move toward capturing the benefit of high standards while diminishing the impact of evaluation concerns.
Humility
Our achievements are never only our own. Every effort we have ever exerted has been enabled by others. The contribution to our current achievements begins with our ancestors. They gave us the DNA that forms the foundation of all of our capacities. Everything we have learned has been taught by teachers from source material discovered and developed by others. The great inventors and discoverers throughout history started by learning from others. We play the greatest role in our own development, of course, but our achievements are never ours alone.
When we over-identify with our own achievement, we perceive that our value is based on our accomplishments. Add the impossibility of perfectionism into the mix, and we supercharge the inner critic that tells us that we aren’t good enough. This is a surefire formula for fear and stress.
The remedy lies in humility and gratitude. Research shows that humility is good for us individually and for our relationships. For example, humble people experience less stress and process the stress they experience more easily. They exhibit greater health, both physically and mentally. They also respond to others in ways that draw them closer together.
To strengthen our humility, practice gratitude. Gratitude and humility are shown to be mutually reinforcing. We can start by being grateful for all those who have come before us and alongside us on the path to achievement, and share the credit when we achieve.
Set Boundaries
Perfectionism has no limits. There is always something more that could be done. Knowing when to call it a day has many benefits. Every resource devoted to the unachievable pursuit of perfection is a resource that can’t be used elsewhere. Time, creativity, and financial resources are all finite. Consider where else those resources might be used, and you may be surprised at what perfectionism is blocking.
Waiting until something is “perfect” can keep projects from moving forward. In a competitive environment, this may mean moving more slowly than others and creating a competitive disadvantage. Getting something out more quickly allows for a wider field of feedback. Evaluation concern-driven perfectionism fears the feedback that points out flaws.
Agile organizations that work with minimum viable products understand that flaws are a part of the process, and they use that understanding to accelerate and strengthen their product development. Continuous learning and a growth mindset acknowledge that imperfection is always present. Ironically, that “imperfectionism” leads to improved outcomes.
Finally, and perhaps most important, the never finished work of a perfectionist leads to exhaustion and burnout. All three of the elements of burnout: exhaustion, cynicism, and feelings of ineffectiveness are exacerbated by perfectionism. When burnout (or even exhaustion alone) results from perfectionism, the paradoxical impact is that the desire to improve toward perfect actually undermines our effectiveness.
In closing…
As leaders, we all seek to have high standards. Now, can our standards be realistic as well? Perfect is not realistic. Setting perfection as the goal reduces effectiveness and harms both mental and physical health of ourselves, our teams, and our organizations. Letting go of perfect is important for us individually and as leaders. Try adding some humility, gratitude, and compassion into the mix, and see if you too can become a reformed perfectionist.