We are pleased to share the perspectives of our colleague Nida Balamur, a participant in the current Compassionate Leadership Certification Program cohort, reporting from the front lines of the 2023 Turkish earthquakes. We are grateful for her heartfelt perspectives on empathy and compassion during this devastating time.
When things are going well in workplaces, schools, families and the whole society, it becomes easier to lead with compassion. We all want to be happy; we all want to experience pleasant moments many times; we all want to be able to laugh all the time. But in life there will be pleasant moments as well as difficult moments. In this article, I seek to explain how to respond to these difficult moments in an entire country, maybe all over the world, as well as how to respond to them with compassionate leadership.
My country, Türkiye, was shaken by a huge earthquake on February 6, 2023. Many beautiful souls are no longer with us. Many beautiful souls are being treated at the hospital. While the numbers can be numbing, we need to remember that these were people with their experiences and stories. They weren't just numbers. Many people have suffered losses of their relatives, and all of us are still grieving this collective tragedy. This period won’t go away quickly. It will not be forgotten quickly and it does not seem like we will return to our daily routine soon. I feel like I'm under huge gray clouds in difficult times.
While all these challenges were going on, we have been exposed to one piece of bad news after another. It became very difficult for people living far from the earthquake zone to keep from being completely consumed by the stories on television and social media of all the damage from this earthquake. Our uncontrolled use of social media increased. Our televisions were almost never turned off, and millions were stuck watching in the hope of getting good news. As people focused on these media channels and reports, they were distracted from taking action. Many people appear headed towards burnout due to not taking action.
For example, a relative of mine watched only the news of the earthquake for twenty-four hours seven days in a row, being negatively affected by these news and not being able to act. Her blood pressure rose and she spent a night in the hospital in an emergency. Now she's back on her walks and exposing herself to as little television coverage as possible, doing what she can to help.
In another example, I gave training at a center the government established for women. Many women cried and said that they "feel helpless and hopeless." However, there was much that could be done; for example, bringing a pot of hot soup to the house of a health worker, a teacher, cleaning their house, or taking care of their child are all possible actions to heal the grief in the earthquake area, as a friend of mine did. Going into an inactive and exhausted state will not benefit the people affected by the earthquake or any of us.
The term empathy comes from the Greek word 'empatheia' (passion), which consists of the words 'en' (inner) and 'pathos' (feeling). We move towards burnout if we empathize with the feelings of the people affected by the earthquake but do not add action. This is where, as Singer & Klimecki, (2014) puts it, “empathetic distress” comes into play. If you remain idle and don’t take action, you feel sad, you feel helpless, and stuck. The most important point here is the “ability to act”.
The term compassion is derived from the Latin words ‘com’ (together/together) and ‘pati’ (to suffer). Yes, we are suffering together and experiencing pain. With the ability to act, we can diminish the chance for burnout. It requires you gather your strength and take action in the face of pain.
In highly stressful circumstances, we need to act without allowing the stress to sweep away our reason and wisdom. For example, researching whether incoming news reports are accurate or up to date is one way to act with wisdom.
Often our inability to act can be based on a belief that the act is a small, worthless act. Everyone wants to give the greatest good, the greatest help. I can understand this, with good intentions. Right now, none of us is powerful enough to solve the earthquake crisis and that’s okay as it is. In other words, our main job is to continue to do our best to help and support and do it without judging it, regardless of whether it is big or small.
We are all a valuable part of this huge universe, and we all have different circumstances. Whatever these conditions require, whatever I can do and whatever my intentions are, it is very valuable that I can see the need and take action in a time of crisis. For that, of course, I can be mindful. Being able to notice what's going on is very valuable. Being able to ask the right questions to myself and the community I live in is very valuable.
“What is the need right now and how can I help?”
There is much we can do with calmness and action. Being able to see the good things, even if they are small, in what is happening, meeting a need, the smile of a baby, the organization of a company to meet a need, seeing children playing again, being able to listen with compassion to a team member affected by the earthquake, to receive support from all over the world, and appreciate the sense of solidarity and hope in our country.
Summarizing the important points I have observed in order to lead our own lives and our connections with compassion in times of crisis;
First of all, to be able to stand still, and to grasp what is as it is, to be able to comprehend it.
Then to be able to listen, understand and comprehend what is the current need.
To be able to act with reason and wisdom. Putting forth your best without judgment.
To be able to maintain the connections related to this situation with a calm presence so that everyone may put forth their best without going to burnout.
To offer compassion and wisdom to this community, so they may feel seen, to remind them again when they are forgotten.
To rest when you are tired, to act with your inner wise voice without drowning yourself in too much social media, television or intellectual information.
To be organized about the support to be made in the medium and long term, and to continue any big or small action I can about this situation.
To nurture and support the entire community to continue on the road with the new reality.
It is very valuable to understand that there are many living beings suffering all over the world even now, and to be able to continue our daily lives with this understanding and generosity. I wish the whole world, my country, all of us to be able to stand first in the middle of the chaos, to realize this mourning, to lead our own lives accompanied by compassion and wisdom.
I thank the whole world for the courage to be a partner in this pain. I would like to express my gratitude and gratitude to everyone for all the help and well-meaning wishes.
I wish all living things to be away from pain, let us all be happy and peaceful.
Nida Balamur