The journey of life and leadership is a never-ending series of cycles, requiring different optimal action depending on the circumstances. There are two constants central to the work of every compassionate leader: self-compassion and the recognition of our shared common humanity. These two provide a powerful foundation for compassionate leaders to act, and guide their choice of the approach to use.
No one gets a pass. Not world-class athletes, CEOs, essential workers, parents, teachers, or our kids. We all suffer. We also have a choice about how we respond to suffering through our leadership. We can choose to work together to find a response, or we can turn away. What kind of culture are you modeling and creating in your organization?
What we perceive in others impacts how we respond to them. What do you see when you look at another human being? Do you see characteristics that differentiate you and the other person, or do you see traits that are the same? Are you able and willing to see both the difference and the commonality? Compassionate leaders know the importance of seeing both through ongoing practice.
Difficult conversations – those discussions we know that we need to have, but dread having – can be difficult not only to initiate, but also to engage in a way that continues to enhance your relationships and trust. Courage, non-judgmental awareness, and compassionate communications, all arising from a place of self-compassionate anchoring, are the compassionate leadership skills to bring to your next difficult conversation.
Speaking up can be a scary act. Examples abound of leaders who shoot messengers bringing opinions that differ from what they want to hear. Creating cultures that celebrate those willing to speak up and become vulnerable starts with leaders. If you want others to take risks for you, show your own vulnerability and trust first. The benefits will show up in greater safety, connection and belonging.
We all recognize that compassion requires kindness. The research shows that compassion comes more easily to those who nurture instinctively. But if we stop there in our consideration of compassion, we miss out on some of the most important and powerful parts of compassion – those parts that exhibit courage and strength. In organizations in particular, courageous compassion is particularly necessary.
Here are five of our recommended reads for compassionate leaders looking for new inspiration this summer! From highly anticipated books written by recognized leaders in self-compassion and compassion in the workplace to practice- and growth-oriented books from professors in the UK and Australia to a searing, creative account of the issues of colonialism in public health. Read one. Read them all.
For twenty years, Kristin Neff has been the leading voice in the field of self-compassion. Her groundbreaking 2003 research paper founded the field, and her first book brought the practice to the broader world. Now, with Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive, Neff brings our understanding of self-compassion to a whole new level.
Learning to move past resistance, restraint, and roadblocks is a key part of personal and leadership development. Barriers to practicing our innate capacity for compassion can show up in many different ways. Let’s explore three barriers to compassion - distraction, judgment, and fear – and how we can intentionally move to the full expression of our compassionate nature.
The disruptions from COVID-19 have been enormous, and the loss of life has been tragic. Yet, as a collective, we have still found ways to adapt with remarkable resilience. Many colleagues tell us that some of their life and work changes have been unexpectedly positive. If we stop and reframe our experience, we may be able to find learning and growth amid the suffering.
